Author: tdhughes17

During a divorce of separation, one party has possession of the family photos. It amazes me everytime I hear the party in possession of the family photos tell me that the other party doesn't care about photos. How does one party bring themselves to believe that the family photos are theirs and the other party does not have a right to them. Those photos document the other party's past as well as the party in possession of them. I do not understand why it is so hard for a party to share family photos with the other party. Back to the golden rule - do onto others as you want done unto you!!!

"When one parent is dismissed, put down or disrespected by the other parent, a part of your child is hurt as a result. They also feel that a part of themselves is flawed which creates much internal confusion." It is so easy to be angry and wish the other parent away. While acting on angry feelings, parents are accomplishing exactly what they claim they will never do - hurt their child. No matter the age of your child(ren), remember we all have the desire to love our parents and be loved by both of our parents. In order to "not hurt your child(ren) during a divorce/separation" do not dismiss the other parent. Allow your child(ren) the best of both of you!

A sweet older woman once told me that the secret to successful relationships is allowing the other party to have 10 faults and the key is to never count! It is so easy to focus on other's faults and unattractive qualities. In turn, the other party will focus on our faults and unattractive qualities. We forget that we have the power to be the change in a relationship. Make a conscious decision to work on your relationships with your co-parent. Focus on their positive and attractive qualities. Highlight those qualities that your children will benefit from and watch as your co-parent and your children win because you changed your focus!

Lesson of the day - don't burn bridges because you never know when you will need that bridge to cross troubled waters! We all have struggles, demons and past experiences that shape who we are and how we deal with our challenges. Co-parenting is the toughest but most important challenge you will face. If you find yourself co-parenting and not cohabitating with your child's parent, you are navigating troubled waters. And, you will need that bridge, your co-parent, to help you navigate those troubled waters for the best interest of your child.

I am often reminded that people going through divorce, separation or other litigation do not behave well, not because they are not good people, but because they are guided by fear of the divorce process, fear of the future, fear of what they do not know, fear because they do not understand the divorce process. Luke Bryan said it best: I believe you love who you love Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks I believe most people are good.

I am sending the following to remind everyone that every day is a new beginning and every day we get to choose how we will live out life and how we will show examples of a beautiful life. Every child deserves the opportunity to live a beautiful life. Children learn what they live. Help your child live a beautiful life! To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning. It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true. To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds, To know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon. To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart, The innocence of a child’s eyes and…

Tips for Separated and Divorced Families for the Holidays: 1. Plan the holiday schedule and communicate with the other parent. 2. Confirm the schedule with the other parent. Miscommunication is the root of most coparenting issues. Listen to each other and read communications more than one time before responding. 3. Communicate specifics of the holiday plan with the other parent and the children. The children want to know what to expect. Providing specific plans allows each parent to avoid duplicating activities with the children. 4. Discuss family traditions and options for new holiday traditions with the children. Allowing the children to participate in planning activities will result in the children being engaged in the activity. 5. As with all child related activities, be flexible. The holidays are stressful for adults…